Living For Him

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What's Your Why? Part 1

My life begins in Lennox Hill Hospital in Manhattan, New York, 1979. I was then raised in Brooklyn, New York by wonderful Christian parents who were partners in life and ministry. They sent me to Christian school and every Sabbath we gathered with the church to worship. The blessing and privilege of being raised in this kind of environment was that I was early exposed to Jesus and the truths of His word, which shaped much of my life for the better. Even in these early years of childhood I sensed Jesus’ pursuit of me and I was already feeling drawn to Him. However, life in our home was forever changed when our family moved to Florida and my father chose to stay in New York to work, though he always expressed the intention of eventually coming to live with us permanently. This situation, however, developed into increased tension between my parents that my brother and I could tangibly feel. It created an environment of awkward uncertainty as we were growing up in Florida. When you add to this my going through puberty, having raging hormones, being influenced by some of the ways of the world, seeing an increasing gap between Jesus and the religious traditions of the church, and trying to figure out my identity in the midst of it all, I knew I’d soon be faced with the unavoidable decision of whether I was going to make Jesus, His truth and His church my own. Then the moment finally came at 12 years old, when I responded to the call to give my life to Christ and be baptized. Yet, sadly, shortly after that, my parents marriage fell apart. Both my baptism and my parents divorce had a major impact on me, like causing a ripple effect that would later produce waves in my life. And though I was very sincere when I got baptized, my understanding was primarily doctrinal. My orientation to the last days was primarily fear-based, which resulted in me being unsure of my salvation and I wasn’t practically discipled in how to have a relationship with Jesus. Therefore, I knew what the right things were, what I was supposed to be doing and how I was supposed to be behaving if I was going to be ready when Jesus comes, but I hadn’t yet discovered the why. Something was still missing in my experience.

You see, whenever there’s a void in the heart that only Christ can fill, Satan offers you other alternatives, other why’s to try and fill it. Therefore, I’d listen to music, watch things and sometimes be influenced by people that sowed seeds of lust in my heart that would periodically spring up and bear fruit. I was also becoming enticed by an image of myself becoming a successful business man climbing the corporate ladder that was being shaped by my being apart of a special high school business program. So that by the time I started going to a university in Miami I was pursuing a degree in business, pushing the limits of appropriate boundaries in a couple dating relationships because my sense of love had been perverted by lust and at certain emotionally low points I’d visit strip clubs, because I hadn’t yet settled into my why. But God… began to use certain people and experiences in my life that gave me clarity into the all encompassing Gospel of Jesus Christ! You see, it wasn’t until I believed, surrendered to and learned how to enter into a relationship with the Who, that I began to discover and settle into my why! 

So, you too have a why behind what you do and how you live. Your why may be fear, money, sex, power, control, people approval, a variety of addictions or even a behavior-based, joy-less, Christ-less religious experience. And here’s the thing I’ve found all these things to have in common. They’re all self-focused and unsustainable. Now, I don’t know about you, but I need a why that’s going to transcend me and is going to last! I need a why that’s going to deliver continually and not fizzle out when life gets hard or diminish in its promised satisfaction. We need a why that’s so compelling that it drives everything we do and powers the way we live our lives. So here’s my question to you. And I want you to get real introspective for a moment and really think about it.

Why do you do what you do and live how you live; and is it sustainable?

This is the very thing that Paul is tapping into as we enter into 2 Corinthians 5. Paul is writing to the church in the Greek city of Corinth, which had lots of problems. Yet after writing his first letter to address these problems, many of them repented. So now he’s writing a follow up letter in light of their positive response. However, there was  still another lingering problem. There were these other “would be” apostles, whom Paul sarcastically calls “super apostles”, that crept in during his absence with so-called “letters of commendation” to authenticate their apostleship and to discredit Paul. They were apparently fancy, gifted orators and self-styled apostles for hire, that were influencing the church to look down upon the apostleship of Paul and his associates, who actually planted the church in Corinth! So now Paul is pushed into a situation where he has to actually defend his apostolic ministry. Paul stresses to them that he doesn’t need to commend himself or his associates to them again, like with the letters of commendation brought by these “super apostles”. He doesn’t need to compete with them! Paul and his associates weren’t doing ministry for the approval others. They weren’t motivated by people pleasing! That’s not a sustainable why! That’s not why they’re so “all in” for loving God and loving people. Paul is now pushed by this circumstance to express his why; why he and his ministry associates do what they do and live how they live. And here it is in 2 Corinthians 5:14, which says…

Stay Tuned for Part 2!



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